I could hardly believe it, when I felt/heard the familiar yet scary snap at the back of my right foot. Could I be so lucky that history is repeating itself?? Talk about the chance of having both achilles tendon torn!! Guess I'm probably one of the few persons that you know who's done that to him/herself. It's a talent that I don't want. Sigh.. I'll have to remember to ask the doctor why am I prone to this injury...

I've almost forgotten how it feels to walk with crutches, and not being able to go anywhere I want, and most of all, to depend on others. It's certainly a good reminder for me to take nothing, absolutely nothing for granted. Life indeed is fragile. We have absolutely no control of what will happen the next minute. It's safest to place your hope in THE one who has total control, eh?

Anyway, for those who're interested to know what happened, let me tell you... Actually, it's quite similar to what happened less than 2 years ago. Same sport, almost the same time of the year, and about the same thing happened. We were playing a doubles games, badminton. Me and J (funny how I was playing against J when I tore my left achilles tendon) were playing against B&C. We were down 1 game to 2, but we were up at 13-11, I think, in the 4th game. I was thinking, hey, maybe we could really win this game and go into a 5th game. Perhaps it was the competitive nature in me or maybe I was too into the game. I can't remember who gave the drop shot, and I lunged forward for the drop shot. In that split second, I felt something snap at the back of my right foot and a sharp pain shot upward. I thought, "uh oh, what have I done???". Then I thought, maybe it's not so serious. Maybe it was just a muscle pull. Oh God, please, please don't let it be what I think it is. How could this happen? This time not my left achilles, but my right?? Some kind of sick joke? I dropped and couldn't move. I felt my calf muscle, very stiff, and then all the way down to the achilles tendon. There's a gap, and I gasped. My heart sank. Why is there a gap?? What's that??! For the second time in my life?? I was totally confused.

My mind started thinking about what will happen. I'll have to go through the surgery, and then put on cast for 8 weeks, then a few months of rehab program and no sports for 6 months. Guess dive sipadan is out of the question. Worst, I'll have to start all over again to re-gain my stamina. Just when I was starting to build up my stamina. This time it's probably going to take longer because I'm getting older. And then I thought about my parents. They're going to kill me. And then I thought about my work. This couldn't have happened at the worst time. My colleagues are so going to kill me...

Some doctor happened to be on the court and told me to go straight to A&E. I decided against it and went to the company doctor. That was a mistake. The doctor gave me false hope and told me it was only a partial tear and made it sound as if it was nothing serious at all. Gave me 1 day off, and some painkillers, and told me I could start hobble around after a few days of rest. I was like, "phew", so it was not that bad after all, but still there's a nagging suspicion that it's not so simple...

Decided the day after to go and see another doctor. The same doctor who gave the correct diagnosis about 2 years ago. He thought it was partial tear too, but seemed to think it was a lot more serious and suggested I either go to the A&E that night, or to the orthopaedic the next day. The thought of seeing the same orthopaedic brought some comfort and I decided to see him. So the next day comes but a different doctor saw me actually. He felt the tendon and confirmed my worst fear. "Your tendon is torn, and you should go for the repair surgery. Although there's still some movement, but the main tendon is torn. There's an obvious gap in between. We can arrange for the surgery today." No need for any scan. As I was waiting for the clinic to confirm the time of the surgery, the previous doctor came out and saw me and looked surprised. Perhaps he recognised me but I thought that was highly unlikely. Must've seen my case file. He was like, "what happened?" He felt the area around the tendon and said "Your left tendon is strong now, right? It's not usual for both tendons to be torn. Maybe you have weak tendons or the frame is too small..."

Ok, I'm tired now. Maybe I'll continue tomorrow.